I stopped being such a coward and booked a flight to London. I was dithering for too long, but I realized that going home for a couple of weeks will do me a lot of good. I’ve always felt safer and more comfortable being a freak in the UK and it will be good to spend some time with my mum. I was determined not to fly out of New York JFK again, but I ended up choosing a flight from there, just because he trains to NYC are more frequent than they are to Toronto or Boston and I don’t feel like dealing with an ‘unknown’. I haven’t booked the return flight yet, because I am going to try to find a return flight to Toronto so I can spend a couple of days there before returning to Rochester. I leave on November 24th and as much as I am dreading the flight, I am looking forward to being back “home”. My mum has made some good suggestions, as far as things we can do together and places we can visit. It will be good to see the cats again too (the ones I gave to my mum to prevent my ex from giving them away): They were still babies then, but they’re big girls now, at 1 1/2 years old:
I’ve also given my required 30 days notice to break my lease and I’ve discharged myself from the supportive housing program that I should never have been on in the first place. At least someone else whose needs match the ‘support’ available on the program will be able to take my place. I’m moving in with my friends on November 11, but I have to come back on the 13th for the final inspection. I can’t wait to get out of this place….I really can’t. Even as I write this, the psychopath in the apartment below me is slamming shit so hard that it’s shaking my floor. I am hoping that I’ll be able to sleep better once I’m out of this madhouse and away from this sketchy, noisy neighborhood.
Moving in with my friends and going back to the UK represent what I hope will be a “return to normalcy” and will help me get over this 1 year long spell of agoraphobia and social isolation. I am determined to find a job when I get back and I’m going to buy a used car, because I’m not going to deal with the buses here anymore.