The journey may be over, but the test is still to come….

I arrived at my mum’s safely around 3 pm yesterday.  The exhaustion didn’t hit me until a couple of hours ago, when I completely zonked out on my mum’s couch.  For now, it feels good to be back here with my mum, the cats, the 2 friends I can’t wait to see again and the climate that I’ve always been used to. 

I slept for most of the flight, which definitely helped.  I took 3 Lorazepam in the afternoon while I was bored and anxious at the airport, then I had a few drinks at a bar after I passed through to the main departure area without any issues, I might add.  I gad a meal at a pub / restaurant and walked around the small collection of duty free shops, tested various perfumes, but didn’t buy anything.   The check-in process was utterly painless, the lady was really nice and didn’t charge me extra for my slightly overweight suitcases that other airlines would have done.  In fact, having two pieces of checked baggage only cost me $60 Canadian Dollars.  And the flight itself was a breeze and my seat was extremely comfortable with plenty of legroom, which made it easier for me to fall asleep.  I will definitely fly with WestJet Airlines again from Toronto next (and last) time I will have to do this, because they are by far the best budget airline that I’ve used.

Getting through customs at London Gatwick was a breeze too.  There was no line at all for the EU / UK citizens and I just scanned my passport into a machine and walked straight through.  I only had to wait a few minutes for my suitcases in the baggage claim area, which was a huge relief.   I went to the restroom to change out of the dress with a broken strap and into another one that matched the color of my shoes better.  I also managed to freshen up a bit and redo my makeup a bit.

I took a grey Thameslink train to London St. Pancras, which seemed to take forever and I drifted in an out of light sleep on regular occasions, along with getting to see London’s relatively new skyline(s) for the first time in ages in broad daylight.  I stopped at a Starbucks at St. Pancras for a much needed pumpkin spice latte, then I hauled me and my luggage across the street to Kings Cross Station and experienced a brief re-introduction with the noisy and crowded streets of London.  It was around lunchtime by then and I had almost 2 hours to kill until I needed to catch my next train to Grantham, so I went to the Leon Restaurant inside the station concourse and had some sort of delicious lentil masala with rice and a Diet Coke for more caffeine.  I was actually shocked at how inexpensive the meal was.  I then walked around the station for a bit and took picture of Platform 9 3/4, as any fan of Harry Potter would and wished that I could disappear into the wall and take the Hogwarts Express.


The train to Grantham was on time, but packed.  I ended up spending the entire journey by the carriage door and used my 2 suitcases as a makeshift seat and still managed to doze off at random intervals.  It was only a one hour journey and my mum was there to meet me at Grantham train station.  In many ways, it felt like I’d never left and that my life in Rochester and the United States was little more than a bad dream.  We spent the evening talking and ‘catching up’ and I was reacquainted with the two cats, Lily and Madge (the ones that I literally saw birthed because they were the part of the litter of 5 of my ex-girlfriend’s cat at the time).


There was one rather triggering moment, when my mum started talking about my younger brothers and how one of them had just got a really good job working for Amazon..  I didn’t say much when she talked about them, except “I haven’t seen them in years” butt think I managed to successfully hide my envy and sadness, as talking about it would have just made matters much worse.  I told her that I’m nervous about meeting the lady that I’m going to be living with on Monday and she just said to show interest in her and not talk about myself much, but I really don’t know how to make such small talk or verbally express interest in most people until I get to know them.  She doesn’t understand this and trying to explain myself would be not only pointless, but upsetting to me.

For now, I’m just glad to be away from Rochester, Trump, bad roommates and feeling alone and isolated.  Tomorrow I’m going to *attempt* to walk into town to get a SIM card for my UK phone and a power cable for my laptop, as the one I have is American and can’t be plugged in here.  I don’t know if I’ll manage to do both of these things (or any of them at all) as it’s the weekend and my anxiety is usually much worse at weekends.  I figured if I leave the house early enough, I’ll avoid weekend people though.  I’m already wishing that I had my bikes with me, as cycling seems safer to me than walking.  Hopefully I can arrange for those to be shipped back here when I return to Rochester next month to get the rest of my belongings, which I am NOT looking forward to.

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