Real friends do not…

I need to remind myself of this in order to avoid ever allowing anyone into my existence again.  This is all based on recent experiences with people over the last 3-4 years especially, I wish I could just forget about them all, or better still, hadn’t met them in the first place.


  • Allow their partners to mistreat you, mis-gender you and blame you for their relationship going wrong.
  • Tell you you’re beautiful one minute, then ‘sexually unattractive’ the next.
  • Use you for money or favors.
  • Tell you “I love you” over and over again when they’re not interested in anything more than platonic friendships and you asked them to stop,
  • Validate your feelings of ugliness, worthlessness.
  • Only contact you when they’re having a bad time.
  • Go behind your back and tell other people how much of a horrible person you are.
  • Encourage you to do bad, reckless or downright dangerous things.
  • Tempt you with drugs or alcohol, knowing full well that you have a history of addiction and substance abuse.
  • Only contact you or want to spend time with you when they’ve been drinking.
  • Keep you from the rest of their group of friends or family because they’re secretly ashamed of you and embarrassed to be around you.
  • Try to ‘save’ you because they need to be seen to do something good in order to achieve validation.
  • Call the police on you or have you admitted to hospital when all you wanted was for them to listen or just give you space.
  • Tell you about the guys they’re dating and the fun they’re having just to rub it in your face, knowing full well that you can’t do those things because you don’t have their privileges,
  • Cast you aside like garbage  when a partner or a better friend comes along.
  • Gaslight you, making you question your own sanity and making you feel like you’re constantly the one to blame.
  • Use your gender identity against you when there;s a serious disagreement, because they know they can wound you and win by doing so.
  • Tell lies and mislead you into believing that they care.
  • Insist that you trust them or else, even though they’ve either not been in your life long enough or have only given you reasons not to trust them,
  • Flirt with you or lead you on, making you believe that they might actually want more than just friendship.
  • Hold you and your behavior  to higher standards than they hold themselves to.
  • Make promises that they can’t keep or had no intention of keeping in the first place.

Needless to say, I haven’t had a real friend in years and I don’t regret pushing any of the imitation friends away…I do regret not doing it sooner though, before the real damage was done.

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