The Brexit saga goes on and on and on; like me, the United Kingdom is probably on borrowed time right now. I simply despair.
I saw my uncle earlier today at the Lithuanian coffee shop across the street. It was an opportunity for me to vent about how unhappy I’ve been in Grantham, especially since Christmas. I don’t think he’s overly fond of the place either and he told me he’d been kicked out of a writer’s group he was in here for a stupid reason. We both came to the conclusion that transgender or not, they don’t seem to like outsiders here. My mum can live here fine, because she’s married and is able to immerse herself in gardening and keeping her allotment. She’s retired and doesn’t have to ‘fit in’, as she has friends and a husband. I was also able to talk to him about how badly it’s been affecting me that the half brother I was once close to just stopped talking to me, as if I’m not good enough. I told my uncle that I’m planning to leave Grantham and he promised to keep it a secret from my mum (his sister).
I received an email from K (my ex-girlfriend from 2016) to say that she needed help de-cluttering and cleaning her house. She offered to feed me and cover most off the cost of the train tickets to Runcorn, so I agreed to go and spend a few days there on Thursday next week. I know she probably just wants me there to clean as I’ve done it in the past, but I’m at the point where I’m extremely lonely and will take any opportunity to get out of Grantham and out of my own head. Besides, I’ll get to see her son again (one of the few kids I’ve been able to get along with) and her cats, one of which is from the same litter as Lily and Madge. I hope her son doesn’t resent me for leaving when I did almost 3 years ago, but I had to, even though he said he didn’t want me to leave. This will also give me the opportunity to stop binge drinking, as it’s getting out of control. Last time I met K in September last year, it didn’t really go to well for me as I ended up with the flu, lost my favorite denim jacket and the whole experience just exacerbated my feelings of loneliness and envy of missing out:
I’m planning to go for a very long bike ride tomorrow, probably to the village of Bottesford and back again. Maybe I’ll be able to see that ginger tabby cat again, if she’s lurking around the same vicinity.