When I die:
I want the remains of this hideous body burned to ashes (cremated) as nothing would give me greater satisfaction or a greater sense of justice for all I’ve been through. I don’t give a shit what happens to the ashes, but I’d rather they were just tossed in the sea and I see no point in being cremated in a casket.
I don’t want a funeral as aside from my mother, no one would attend. Even if anyone else did attend, I wouldn’t want anyone there who wasn’t able to be there for me while I was alive. A funeral would be a complete waste of money.
I don’t want anyone blaming themselves, nor do I want anyone blamed or held responsible for my death, as it will ultimately be my choice and my reasons for wanting to die are not as a result of any individual, but rather my physical appearance, mental health problems and loneliness.
I don’t want anyone thinking that my decision was an impulsive decision or an irrational decision. I may be fucking depressed, but I’m not crazy or irrational. Death is the only thing I am looking forward to, having endured a lifefime of pain and suffering.
I want everyone to know that really fucking tried my best and that I’m sorry for all the pain that I’ve caused.