Tag Archives: depression

When fiction and fictional characters become emotional triggers

When I was young, television shows, moves and books were distractions from how shitty my life was (and still is).  I could watch pretty much anything and enjoy it and I read a lot of books.  But that isn’t the … Continue reading

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Dire news on the Brexit front (‘no deal’ is now more likely than ever)

I really *should* stop looking at the news, but doing so is impossible in the age of information that we live in.  When it comes to Brexit, it affects me too much to just choose to ignore it.  The latest … Continue reading

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I can’t adult (seriously)

I woke up way too early this morning, following a nightmare involving being back in England and my mother.  My nightmares are traumatic, but at least the past can only haunt me in my dreams and nightmares now, as opposed … Continue reading

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Back on the saddle again

My friend has kindly let me borrow her bike, so I ventured out on it twice yesterday, sticking to the nearby vicinity so as to get accustomed to it and to cycling here, which is quite a different experience from … Continue reading

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I don’t want to be here

TRIGGER WARNING: suicide I’m not looking for attention or pity and I’m especially not looking for unsolicited advice from random people trying to convince me to keep on going.  I’ve done a lot of reflecting and I cannot come up … Continue reading

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Dear random people on the internet: please stop telling me that “life is worth living”

I wish people who don’t know me or what I’ve gone through for most of my life would stop doubting my desire to die, as if it were some sort of whim or temporary problem, rather than a lifetime of … Continue reading

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My prison without walls or bars

I hate weekends, but I hate bank holiday weekends even more and this long weekend is proving to be a difficult one.  I’ve been struggling with depression, loneliness and restless thoughts.  I haven’t drank at all today, because I’m saving … Continue reading

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