Tag Archives: dysphoria

The transgender trigger / curse

I’ve not really felt any better since my meltdown on Friday, although I’ve not had any more alcohol since then, but I’ve smoked quite a few joints.  Fortunately, K has been away and isn’t back until tomorrow, so I’ve had … Continue reading

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Let’s talk about sex (as in my difficulties with it)

While I crave a good relationship, one of the biggest problems for me with being with anyone is the whole ‘sex’ thing.  I’m not a prude at all, but I’ve always had issues with sex, or rather making love.  Along … Continue reading

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Loneliness and isolation (I just wanted to fit in)

I’m tire of feeling so alone and I’m tired of this never-ending social isolation that has done so much harm.  I needed to fit in, somewhere and with someone, but I’m too much of a lost cause now and my … Continue reading

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The ‘rational’ argument in favour of suicide and assisted dying

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide (obviously) I’m no fan of modern suicide prevention techniques for chronically suicidal people like me, nor am I a fan of ‘the ‘saviour’ SPA (suicide prevention activist) types.  The latter seem only concerned with preventing suicide itself, … Continue reading

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I’ve been feeling very suicidal (and no, I don’t want to be saved or pitied)

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide Here I am, screaming into the void again, just like in the movie Alien.  The monsters aren’t enormous killer creatures with acid for blood, but the monsters in my head….. Before I go any further, I don’t want to … Continue reading

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I don’t want to be here

TRIGGER WARNING: suicide I’m not looking for attention or pity and I’m especially not looking for unsolicited advice from random people trying to convince me to keep on going.  I’ve done a lot of reflecting and I cannot come up … Continue reading

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Five days with my ex-girlfriend ended in dysphoria and disaster

I just got back to Grantham after spending 5 days with K, my ex-girlfriend in Runcorn.   As I predicted before I left when I had my doubts about going at all, it all ended very badly.  Once again, yours truly … Continue reading

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