Tag Archives: envy of others

When fiction and fictional characters become emotional triggers

When I was young, television shows, moves and books were distractions from how shitty my life was (and still is).  I could watch pretty much anything and enjoy it and I read a lot of books.  But that isn’t the … Continue reading

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Uglyface

I took the small lock box to my mum’s on Sunday evening.  Inside is a card and a USB flash drive containing my ‘final note’ and instructions for after my death.  Obviously, I didn’t tell her what was inside it … Continue reading

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Annoying, repetitive and invisible (this is me screaming into the void)

Sometimes I wonder if I should cut down on the amount of garbage I write here or even just stop completely for a while and just keep a private diary.  Whenever I write, I feel like I’m yelling into the … Continue reading

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I wasn’t prepared for any of this (living alone in a small English town, the past, fear of children and teenagers)

My mum and I are talking again, although nothing has been resolved and never will be.  She seems to have accepted that I’m leaving Grantham and our conversations have returned to the safety of talking about the cats.  I have … Continue reading

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I would be better off in a mental institution

I’m not joking either….. It’s a pity that mental institutions no longer exist. If they were run properly and with plenty of oversight, there would be far fewer drug addicts, alcoholics and homeless people than there are at present. There … Continue reading

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I REALLY need to leave this place for good

I went to Nottingham yesterday on the train and took Persephone (my purple bike that I bought back from New York with me).  I took the train from Grantham as far as Radcliffe, then cycled the rest of the way.  … Continue reading

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I am a broken mess

TRIGGER WARNING (self-harm, alcoholism) My head is all over the place.  I’ve been spending my time trying to kill time (and my liver).  I’m going through a bottle of vodka a day now, sometimes more.  I could stop myself, but … Continue reading

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