Tag Archives: envy

When fiction and fictional characters become emotional triggers

When I was young, television shows, moves and books were distractions from how shitty my life was (and still is).  I could watch pretty much anything and enjoy it and I read a lot of books.  But that isn’t the … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Uglyface

I took the small lock box to my mum’s on Sunday evening.  Inside is a card and a USB flash drive containing my ‘final note’ and instructions for after my death.  Obviously, I didn’t tell her what was inside it … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Annoying, repetitive and invisible (this is me screaming into the void)

Sometimes I wonder if I should cut down on the amount of garbage I write here or even just stop completely for a while and just keep a private diary.  Whenever I write, I feel like I’m yelling into the … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I would be better off in a mental institution

I’m not joking either….. It’s a pity that mental institutions no longer exist. If they were run properly and with plenty of oversight, there would be far fewer drug addicts, alcoholics and homeless people than there are at present. There … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I REALLY need to leave this place for good

I went to Nottingham yesterday on the train and took Persephone (my purple bike that I bought back from New York with me).  I took the train from Grantham as far as Radcliffe, then cycled the rest of the way.  … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I am a broken mess

TRIGGER WARNING (self-harm, alcoholism) My head is all over the place.  I’ve been spending my time trying to kill time (and my liver).  I’m going through a bottle of vodka a day now, sometimes more.  I could stop myself, but … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Another long bike ride failed to clear my head

I cycled almost 30 miles today, from Grantham to the village of Fiskerton via Newark-on-Trent.  The weather was beautiful and I didn’t want to be cooped up in my flat, as I’m not going to be able to go out … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment