Tag Archives: fear of children

Alone and lonely on Guy Fawkes Night

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide As with Christmas, Halloween and New Year’s Eve, I used to look forward to Guy Fawkes Night (November 5th) when I was a kid, but now it’s just another day that reminds me of how completely alone … Continue reading

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Back to Khaos today

I have to return to Runcorn later today, but I’m going straight to the bedsit, so I won’t have to see K or her son yet.  I’m not looking forward to the journey because it’s half-term and there are likely … Continue reading

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“That Friday feeling”

“That Friday feeling” is just shit that normal people say; people with lives and a purpose in life.  The only feeling I get on Friday is loneliness and the feeling that I would be better off dead, which is how … Continue reading

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I drink because I don’t want to think

This is a special “fuck you” to the so-called “best friend” who reintroduced me to alcohol every time she would call me drunk as fuck.  I don’t actually blame her though, because I’d have to have to be drunk to … Continue reading

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Mental health assessment, living situation and another broken phone

My mental health assessment yesterday went quite well.  I wrote down a list of as many of my issues as I could think of and saved it on my tablet to show the mental health professional I saw.  I was … Continue reading

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Add “being an arsehole” to my list of accolades

Yesterday turned out to be an extremely horrible day and I wish I’d have just stayed at the bedsit all weekend.  I can’t sleep, partly because I have that mental health assessment in a few hours that I know will … Continue reading

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I could never have been a parent anyway

I should’ve given up my dreams of becoming a parent a long time ago.  The experience I’ve had with K’s son has proven to me that I’d have been a colossal failure as a mother.  K is back from her … Continue reading

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