Tag Archives: fear of children

One more week in Scotland & 48 hours of sobriety

Despite my intrusive thoughts and restlessness, I’ve been resisting the urge to drink since Tuesday, so it’s been 48 hours.  Since the school holidays have ended, and the weather looks good tomorrow, I’m going on a long bike ride.  I’m … Continue reading

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Four (completely infeasible) alternatives to suicide

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, dark thoughts It’s 2 am and I can’t sleep (surprise).  I feel tired, but I have a lot of restless energy and a mind racing with intrusive thoughts.  I’m angry at the world and angrier still with … Continue reading

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My many (justifiable) reasons for wanting to die

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, alcoholism People don’t seem to understand that I genuinely do want to die.  There are multiple reasons for this and some of those reasons would be enough on their own to justify suicide.  In case you don’t … Continue reading

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I really fucking hate weekends and ‘weekend people’

Another ‘I hate weekends’ blog entry, but it’s true…I really fucking hate weekends and ‘weekend people ‘with a passion.  From Friday evening to Sunday night, it’s much harder for me to go out because the enemy (people) are everywhere.  Saturdays … Continue reading

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I wish I’d never come back to the United Kingdom (this is not my home anymore)

I truly fucked up when I returned to the United Kingdom last November. It was probably the second biggest mistake of my life, the first being dragging S (my ex-wife) into my hell and wasting 9 years of her life.  … Continue reading

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I wish there were childfree communities

You’ve probably guessed by now from many of my blog entries that I don’t like children;  in fact, I hate them.  Before you jump down my throat for it, it’s not the kind of hate that would ever lead me … Continue reading

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Envy of others has completely poisoned me (feeling ugly, alone and left behind)

I went to Edinburgh yesterday and did nothing but get very drunk.  I just wanted to get out of England and specifically out of South Shields, the town where I’m currently staying, which I’ve dubbed as ‘Grantham-by-the-Sea, for its obvious … Continue reading

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