Tag Archives: intrusive thoughts

Feeling very hopeless and scared

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, suicidal ideation  I knew that returning to England would be a huge mistake.  I’ve only been here just over a week and already I’m feeling very hopeless and scared.  It’s just too populated here and not only … Continue reading

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Four (completely infeasible) alternatives to suicide

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, dark thoughts It’s 2 am and I can’t sleep (surprise).  I feel tired, but I have a lot of restless energy and a mind racing with intrusive thoughts.  I’m angry at the world and angrier still with … Continue reading

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I feel like I’m losing control (envy, anger, hatred, very dark thoughts)

TRIGGER WARNING: all of it I s’snapped’ yesterday on Twitter, lashing out at dozens of people, many of whom were on my side.  I sad some awful things and even some disturbing things that I am not proud of.  I … Continue reading

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I really fucking hate weekends and ‘weekend people’

Another ‘I hate weekends’ blog entry, but it’s true…I really fucking hate weekends and ‘weekend people ‘with a passion.  From Friday evening to Sunday night, it’s much harder for me to go out because the enemy (people) are everywhere.  Saturdays … Continue reading

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The intrusive thoughts that constantly torment me….

Single, ugly fuck Beautiful people everywhere A fake friend conned me again Family friendly fascism Brexit dread Missing you terribly Ugly voice I can’t forgive or forget I need to die Ugly fuck Alone, lonely, isolated Too tall to be … Continue reading

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Loneliness, intrusive thoughts, insomnia and fatigue

I’m a poor sleeper and I’ve been that way for several years.  The problem got worse not long after my marriage to S broke up in 2013.  These days, I’m lucky if I get 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  When … Continue reading

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I’m quitting alcohol

I know I’ve unsuccessfully tried to quit alcohol before and have failed, but I really need to try harder this time.  I haven’t had a drink for 2 days now, i.e. since Tuesday.  That may not seem like a long … Continue reading

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