Tag Archives: isolation

The internet used to be a place of solace, where I could find like-minded people

The internet used to be a place of solace for me, where I could find like-minded people.  I’m going back quite a long time though, to the early 2000’s, when LiveJournal and MySpace were a thing, before the advent of … Continue reading

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I feel like I’m losing control (envy, anger, hatred, very dark thoughts)

TRIGGER WARNING: all of it I s’snapped’ yesterday on Twitter, lashing out at dozens of people, many of whom were on my side.  I sad some awful things and even some disturbing things that I am not proud of.  I … Continue reading

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My many (justifiable) reasons for wanting to die

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, alcoholism People don’t seem to understand that I genuinely do want to die.  There are multiple reasons for this and some of those reasons would be enough on their own to justify suicide.  In case you don’t … Continue reading

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Common traits with some mass shooters (mental illness, lack of support, loneliness, isolation and toxic envy)

As I’ve mentioned previously, I experience a lot of dark, intrusive thoughts.  These thoughts have become darker and more intrusive over the last few months in particular and I blame loneliness, isolation and intense envy of others.  Most of my … Continue reading

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I wish I’d never come back to the United Kingdom (this is not my home anymore)

I truly fucked up when I returned to the United Kingdom last November. It was probably the second biggest mistake of my life, the first being dragging S (my ex-wife) into my hell and wasting 9 years of her life.  … Continue reading

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Loneliness, intrusive thoughts, insomnia and fatigue

I’m a poor sleeper and I’ve been that way for several years.  The problem got worse not long after my marriage to S broke up in 2013.  These days, I’m lucky if I get 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  When … Continue reading

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Drunken envy and self-loathing in Dundee

I went to Dundee on the train yesterday (Thursday).  I’ve now been to every major / medium sized city in the United Kingdom.  I drank way too much and I still have a hangover (and I don’t usually even get … Continue reading

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