Tag Archives: loneliness

When fiction and fictional characters become emotional triggers

When I was young, television shows, moves and books were distractions from how shitty my life was (and still is).  I could watch pretty much anything and enjoy it and I read a lot of books.  But that isn’t the … Continue reading

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The ‘rational’ argument in favour of suicide and assisted dying

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide (obviously) I’m no fan of modern suicide prevention techniques for chronically suicidal people like me, nor am I a fan of ‘the ‘saviour’ SPA (suicide prevention activist) types.  The latter seem only concerned with preventing suicide itself, … Continue reading

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I’ve been feeling very suicidal (and no, I don’t want to be saved or pitied)

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide Here I am, screaming into the void again, just like in the movie Alien.  The monsters aren’t enormous killer creatures with acid for blood, but the monsters in my head….. Before I go any further, I don’t want to … Continue reading

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There is no help for many of us (so quit trying to save us)

Until we can find a cure for all serious mental illnesses and until we can help people overcome shitty life circumstances, suicide is here to stay. Why don’t people understand that for some of us, death is preferable to continuing … Continue reading

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Uglyface

I took the small lock box to my mum’s on Sunday evening.  Inside is a card and a USB flash drive containing my ‘final note’ and instructions for after my death.  Obviously, I didn’t tell her what was inside it … Continue reading

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Annoying, repetitive and invisible (this is me screaming into the void)

Sometimes I wonder if I should cut down on the amount of garbage I write here or even just stop completely for a while and just keep a private diary.  Whenever I write, I feel like I’m yelling into the … Continue reading

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The last pictures I’ll ever take of Grantham

I’m leaving in 8 days and those 8 days cannot pass quickly enough, although I’m also nervous about it as I’ll be venturing into the unknown.  I’m at my wit’s end with living in Grantham and I will never return … Continue reading

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