Tag Archives: lonely

When fiction and fictional characters become emotional triggers

When I was young, television shows, moves and books were distractions from how shitty my life was (and still is).  I could watch pretty much anything and enjoy it and I read a lot of books.  But that isn’t the … Continue reading

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Uglyface

I took the small lock box to my mum’s on Sunday evening.  Inside is a card and a USB flash drive containing my ‘final note’ and instructions for after my death.  Obviously, I didn’t tell her what was inside it … Continue reading

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The last pictures I’ll ever take of Grantham

I’m leaving in 8 days and those 8 days cannot pass quickly enough, although I’m also nervous about it as I’ll be venturing into the unknown.  I’m at my wit’s end with living in Grantham and I will never return … Continue reading

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I don’t want to be here

TRIGGER WARNING: suicide I’m not looking for attention or pity and I’m especially not looking for unsolicited advice from random people trying to convince me to keep on going.  I’ve done a lot of reflecting and I cannot come up … Continue reading

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This ain’t worth it

I have nothing and no one to live for.  I’m not even living; I’m existing.  I derive no joy from life whatsoever and I’m already dead to the world, i.e. invisible  I see absolutely no point in carrying on and … Continue reading

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I would be better off in a mental institution

I’m not joking either….. It’s a pity that mental institutions no longer exist. If they were run properly and with plenty of oversight, there would be far fewer drug addicts, alcoholics and homeless people than there are at present. There … Continue reading

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My prison without walls or bars

I hate weekends, but I hate bank holiday weekends even more and this long weekend is proving to be a difficult one.  I’ve been struggling with depression, loneliness and restless thoughts.  I haven’t drank at all today, because I’m saving … Continue reading

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