Tag Archives: memories

I need to move (once again)

I haven’t updated this blog for a few days because I went to the south coast of England to visit my best friend on Wednesday and didn’t get back until just after midnight on Saturday morning. I’ve been feeling extremely … Continue reading

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Weekends are becoming increasingly unbearable

It’s actually harder to go out here than it was in Rochester at weekends, as much as I hate to admit that.  There seems to be a higher percentage of families with children living here and these are the last … Continue reading

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Shitmas

I’m not sure how much benefit I’m getting from the exercise involved in riding my bike when I find myself in a constant state of panic as soon as I leave my front door.  This causes me to run out … Continue reading

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Tomorrow is going to be a very difficult day for me (December 13th)

I’m going to write about this now, because tomorrow I plan to get very drunk. Tomorrow is December 13th, which is exactly 15 years since I first met S, my ex-wife, best friend, my only true love and my soulmate … Continue reading

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Pride came with a massive fall (why I’ll never go to another ‘Pride’ event ever again)

For those of you who don’t know me, I am transgender, but not ‘proud’ of it. I hate being transgender, not because of ‘haters’ but because transition has failed to make much of a mark on my dysphoria and it’s … Continue reading

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PTSD nightmare hell

Sleep is a respite for most people, but for me the suffering doesn’t stop when I close my eyes.  Sometimes I feel that whatever or whoever is tormenting me is somehow enjoying this.  I can’t even temporarily escape hell without … Continue reading

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Painful memories of parental favoritism entangled in nightmares

Do any of you have dreams or nightmares that are so bad and so vivid that they send your mood spiraling downwards, even hours after waking from them?   Nightmares and bad dreams are pretty much the norm for me, but … Continue reading

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