Tag Archives: Rochester

My mother (and her husband) showed up and it ended badly

In case you give a flying fuck, no I’m not okay. My mum and her husband showed up at my flat earlier.  I didn’t know they were coming and I didn’t answer the door when I heard someone knocking, but … Continue reading

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Five days with my ex-girlfriend ended in dysphoria and disaster

I just got back to Grantham after spending 5 days with K, my ex-girlfriend in Runcorn.   As I predicted before I left when I had my doubts about going at all, it all ended very badly.  Once again, yours truly … Continue reading

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I’m seriously considering going back to Rochester (New York)

If you’ve been following this blog since before I returned to the UK in November last year, you’ll know that I wanted nothing more than to leave Rochester and come ‘home’.  That’s why you’d be forgiven for thinking that I’m … Continue reading

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Drip, drip…fucking drip

I’m tired….really fucking tired and not just because I’m awake at 2 am yet again. This is a type of tiredness that sleep can’t fix, even if I were getting enough sleep. I feel far too alone and isolated, having.not … Continue reading

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Alone in the dark

I don’t wan to be awake right now, but I am.  It’s 3 am and even if I could get back to sleep, I don’t want to because I’m tired of the nightmares that have become so mentally exhausting in … Continue reading

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Yesterday’s debilitating, embarassing panic attack

I don’t want to sound like a stuck record, but I’m really really really struggling.  I had a particularly awful day yesterday, which led to one of the worst panic attacks that I’ve had in a while. I went to … Continue reading

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Referred to the wrong place (yet again)

I received a letter today from the NHS operated mental health organization that I’d been told to ‘self refer’ to by my GP telling me that they are unable to help me, as they are only commissioned to treat ‘low … Continue reading

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