Tag Archives: self–hate

At least cats still want to be friends with me

After going to both the local Aldi and Asda supermarkets this morning to buy vodka and food, I rode my bike from Grantham to Bottesford, then back again along.  I cycled along the Grantham Canal, which is realistically the only … Continue reading

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Not going to happen today (anxiety Meetup group)

I’m going to have to cancel my RSVP to that Meetup.com anxiety group in Nottingham today.  The organizer of the group did email me back and he seemed really nice, but it’s just not going to happen today for me … Continue reading

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I don’t belong here, there or anywhere

I’ve been in a dark and lonely place for the last few days, even prior to seeing that headline about how the Trump Administration plan to erase transgender people’s identities (I wish someone would just ‘erase’ me from existence and … Continue reading

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Final update from Canada…

My train leaves at 10:29 later this morning and just as  I always do, I’m going to arrive at the train station over an hour early just to be safe.  I’ve done most of my packing, but I still need … Continue reading

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The ugly truth is unraveling (misgendered too many times)

Firstly, please don’t tell me that “it will get better” or that I need to “accept myself” because it won’t and I can’t.  I was misgendered twice today, both of which were accidental misgenderings (the worst kind).  The first occurred … Continue reading

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When your fun gets in the way of my fun-ctioning (the final straw)

I’m not the kind of person to want to ruin someone else’s enjoyment and I’m not a party pooper, but I draw the line when my desire for privacy and my mental health are disregarded.  Needless to say, I have … Continue reading

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Even my (short) sleep is no respite from pain

My dreams are usually one of two things: nightmares or reminders of what I’m missing out on in life.  The dream I had earlier fell into the latter category.  In the dream, I was hopelessly in love with someone who … Continue reading

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