Tag Archives: social isolation

One more week in Scotland & 48 hours of sobriety

Despite my intrusive thoughts and restlessness, I’ve been resisting the urge to drink since Tuesday, so it’s been 48 hours.  Since the school holidays have ended, and the weather looks good tomorrow, I’m going on a long bike ride.  I’m … Continue reading

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I feel like I’m losing control (envy, anger, hatred, very dark thoughts)

TRIGGER WARNING: all of it I s’snapped’ yesterday on Twitter, lashing out at dozens of people, many of whom were on my side.  I sad some awful things and even some disturbing things that I am not proud of.  I … Continue reading

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Common traits with some mass shooters (mental illness, lack of support, loneliness, isolation and toxic envy)

As I’ve mentioned previously, I experience a lot of dark, intrusive thoughts.  These thoughts have become darker and more intrusive over the last few months in particular and I blame loneliness, isolation and intense envy of others.  Most of my … Continue reading

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Ugly and lonely in Perth, Glasgow and Stirling

I wasn’t planning on returning to this blog for a while.  I’m tired of bearing my soul on here, as I feel like no one is listening and even if they are, it’s unlikely that they understand (or care to … Continue reading

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I wish I’d never come back to the United Kingdom (this is not my home anymore)

I truly fucked up when I returned to the United Kingdom last November. It was probably the second biggest mistake of my life, the first being dragging S (my ex-wife) into my hell and wasting 9 years of her life.  … Continue reading

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Loneliness, intrusive thoughts, insomnia and fatigue

I’m a poor sleeper and I’ve been that way for several years.  The problem got worse not long after my marriage to S broke up in 2013.  These days, I’m lucky if I get 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  When … Continue reading

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Drunken envy and self-loathing in Dundee

I went to Dundee on the train yesterday (Thursday).  I’ve now been to every major / medium sized city in the United Kingdom.  I drank way too much and I still have a hangover (and I don’t usually even get … Continue reading

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