Tag Archives: suicidal ideation

Final update from the Netherlands

I have to return to the UK today.  Obviously, I’m feeling anything *but* good about it.  I have no support and no family there, just painful memories and I’m returning to a divided, angry UK  that bears little resemblance to … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

My borrowed time is coming to an end

I’m returning to the UK in 11 days and believe me, I’m not happy about it, with ‘no deal’ Brexit being imminent and with Boris Johnson soon to be chosen as the new Prime Minister.  Things are only going to … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dire news on the Brexit front (‘no deal’ is now more likely than ever)

I really *should* stop looking at the news, but doing so is impossible in the age of information that we live in.  When it comes to Brexit, it affects me too much to just choose to ignore it.  The latest … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’ve been feeling very suicidal (and no, I don’t want to be saved or pitied)

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide Here I am, screaming into the void again, just like in the movie Alien.  The monsters aren’t enormous killer creatures with acid for blood, but the monsters in my head….. Before I go any further, I don’t want to … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Uglyface

I took the small lock box to my mum’s on Sunday evening.  Inside is a card and a USB flash drive containing my ‘final note’ and instructions for after my death.  Obviously, I didn’t tell her what was inside it … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Annoying, repetitive and invisible (this is me screaming into the void)

Sometimes I wonder if I should cut down on the amount of garbage I write here or even just stop completely for a while and just keep a private diary.  Whenever I write, I feel like I’m yelling into the … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I don’t want to be here

TRIGGER WARNING: suicide I’m not looking for attention or pity and I’m especially not looking for unsolicited advice from random people trying to convince me to keep on going.  I’ve done a lot of reflecting and I cannot come up … Continue reading

Posted in Transgender & Mental Health Issues | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment