Tag Archives: suicidal ideation

Dear random people on the internet: please stop telling me that “life is worth living”

I wish people who don’t know me or what I’ve gone through for most of my life would stop doubting my desire to die, as if it were some sort of whim or temporary problem, rather than a lifetime of … Continue reading

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Living here has been like serving a 6 month prison sentence

I don’t have to express how much I hate weekends, especially here in Grantham.  I’m tired of feeling like a prisoner stuck in my flat, unable to go out because of the plethora of kids, teenagers and families living in … Continue reading

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When I die

When I die: I want the remains of this hideous body burned to ashes (cremated) as nothing would give me greater satisfaction or a greater sense of justice for all I’ve been through.  I don’t give a shit what happens … Continue reading

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I’m quitting alcohol

I know I’ve unsuccessfully tried to quit alcohol before and have failed, but I really need to try harder this time.  I haven’t had a drink for 2 days now, i.e. since Tuesday.  That may not seem like a long … Continue reading

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My mother (and her husband) showed up and it ended badly

In case you give a flying fuck, no I’m not okay. My mum and her husband showed up at my flat earlier.  I didn’t know they were coming and I didn’t answer the door when I heard someone knocking, but … Continue reading

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Five days with my ex-girlfriend ended in dysphoria and disaster

I just got back to Grantham after spending 5 days with K, my ex-girlfriend in Runcorn.   As I predicted before I left when I had my doubts about going at all, it all ended very badly.  Once again, yours truly … Continue reading

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Unsolicited advice (when there is no help or when treatment hasn’t worked)

All too often, I’ve seen people dish out unsolicited advice to those suffering from mental health problems and loneliness, usually along the lines of “Seek professional help” or “Call the suicide hotline number” or “Check yourself into hospital”.  While this may be appropriate advice to … Continue reading

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