Tag Archives: suicidal ideation

A possible way out

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, drugs Contrary to what people like to assume about me, I really do want to die and have done for many years.  People like to assume that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but … Continue reading

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Feeling very hopeless and scared

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, suicidal ideation  I knew that returning to England would be a huge mistake.  I’ve only been here just over a week and already I’m feeling very hopeless and scared.  It’s just too populated here and not only … Continue reading

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My many (justifiable) reasons for wanting to die

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, alcoholism People don’t seem to understand that I genuinely do want to die.  There are multiple reasons for this and some of those reasons would be enough on their own to justify suicide.  In case you don’t … Continue reading

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It just keeps getting worse…

I’m having major problems getting my HRT medication (estrogen) and it’s really starting to worry me.  The pharmacy was unable to obtain my medication because pf a “manufacturer issue” and they can’t even find an alternative brand.  I’m convinced that … Continue reading

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Envy of others has completely poisoned me (feeling ugly, alone and left behind)

I went to Edinburgh yesterday and did nothing but get very drunk.  I just wanted to get out of England and specifically out of South Shields, the town where I’m currently staying, which I’ve dubbed as ‘Grantham-by-the-Sea, for its obvious … Continue reading

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Final update from the Netherlands

I have to return to the UK today.  Obviously, I’m feeling anything *but* good about it.  I have no support and no family there, just painful memories and I’m returning to a divided, angry UK  that bears little resemblance to … Continue reading

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My borrowed time is coming to an end

I’m returning to the UK in 11 days and believe me, I’m not happy about it, with ‘no deal’ Brexit being imminent and with Boris Johnson soon to be chosen as the new Prime Minister.  Things are only going to … Continue reading

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