Tag Archives: trauma

I’m being so blatantly taken advantage of

I had another very terrible day yesterday, which culminated in another meltdown and getting severely drunk.  I’ve not been able to be honest about what’s upsetting me here out of respect for K and her lifestyle choices, but I can … Continue reading

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I had another meltdown yesterday

I had another meltdown yesterday, after the pressure became too much for me to take and I was upset that K’s son had taken my bike, even though I’d mistakenly agreed to it (I suffer from delayed reaction thinking and … Continue reading

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This isn’t going to work out

I’ve been staying at K’s house for just over a week now,but already I feel like it’s not going to work out.  I don’t feel particularly safe here, or anywhere in England for that matter.  Walking the dog is proving … Continue reading

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Feeling very hopeless and scared

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, suicidal ideation  I knew that returning to England would be a huge mistake.  I’ve only been here just over a week and already I’m feeling very hopeless and scared.  It’s just too populated here and not only … Continue reading

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My many (justifiable) reasons for wanting to die

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, alcoholism People don’t seem to understand that I genuinely do want to die.  There are multiple reasons for this and some of those reasons would be enough on their own to justify suicide.  In case you don’t … Continue reading

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Common traits with some mass shooters (mental illness, lack of support, loneliness, isolation and toxic envy)

As I’ve mentioned previously, I experience a lot of dark, intrusive thoughts.  These thoughts have become darker and more intrusive over the last few months in particular and I blame loneliness, isolation and intense envy of others.  Most of my … Continue reading

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Loneliness, intrusive thoughts, insomnia and fatigue

I’m a poor sleeper and I’ve been that way for several years.  The problem got worse not long after my marriage to S broke up in 2013.  These days, I’m lucky if I get 3 hours of uninterrupted sleep.  When … Continue reading

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