Tag Archives: trigger

When fiction and fictional characters become emotional triggers

When I was young, television shows, moves and books were distractions from how shitty my life was (and still is).  I could watch pretty much anything and enjoy it and I read a lot of books.  But that isn’t the … Continue reading

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I’ve been feeling very suicidal (and no, I don’t want to be saved or pitied)

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide Here I am, screaming into the void again, just like in the movie Alien.  The monsters aren’t enormous killer creatures with acid for blood, but the monsters in my head….. Before I go any further, I don’t want to … Continue reading

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Reflecting on the last 2 days with K (my ex-girlfriend)

I got back to Grantham this morning after spending 2 nights with K.  Miraculously, my fish survived the journey to their new home and despite how anxious I was driving from here to Runcorn and back, I returned the rental … Continue reading

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Yesterday’s debilitating, embarassing panic attack

I don’t want to sound like a stuck record, but I’m really really really struggling.  I had a particularly awful day yesterday, which led to one of the worst panic attacks that I’ve had in a while. I went to … Continue reading

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A painful 24 hours (the ‘trans trigger’, street harassment, embarrassment, loss of friends)

I wish I hadn’t gone out at all yesterday, but I had an appointment with my care manager and needed groceries.  I was harassed yet again by a coward in a passing car on the way to the clinic.  I … Continue reading

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The dreaded day…

I thought I was doing somewhat alright until a few hours ago, when loneliness crept up on me again. I’d been successfully keeping myself busy planning the itinerary for my return to the UK and booking train tickets and accommodation, … Continue reading

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This trip is already going wrong and I haven’t even left yet

I’ve had to cancel my return flight to Toronto and the AirBnB reservation I’d made to stay there for 3 days to break up the journey home and give me something to look forward to.  I knew I needed to … Continue reading

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