Tag Archives: trigger

I’m being so blatantly taken advantage of

I had another very terrible day yesterday, which culminated in another meltdown and getting severely drunk.  I’ve not been able to be honest about what’s upsetting me here out of respect for K and her lifestyle choices, but I can … Continue reading

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I had another meltdown yesterday

I had another meltdown yesterday, after the pressure became too much for me to take and I was upset that K’s son had taken my bike, even though I’d mistakenly agreed to it (I suffer from delayed reaction thinking and … Continue reading

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Feeling very hopeless and scared

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, suicidal ideation  I knew that returning to England would be a huge mistake.  I’ve only been here just over a week and already I’m feeling very hopeless and scared.  It’s just too populated here and not only … Continue reading

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When fiction and fictional characters become emotional triggers

When I was young, television shows, moves and books were distractions from how shitty my life was (and still is).  I could watch pretty much anything and enjoy it and I read a lot of books.  But that isn’t the … Continue reading

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I’ve been feeling very suicidal (and no, I don’t want to be saved or pitied)

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide Here I am, screaming into the void again, just like in the movie Alien.  The monsters aren’t enormous killer creatures with acid for blood, but the monsters in my head….. Before I go any further, I don’t want to … Continue reading

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Reflecting on the last 2 days with K (my ex-girlfriend)

I got back to Grantham this morning after spending 2 nights with K.  Miraculously, my fish survived the journey to their new home and despite how anxious I was driving from here to Runcorn and back, I returned the rental … Continue reading

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Yesterday’s debilitating, embarassing panic attack

I don’t want to sound like a stuck record, but I’m really really really struggling.  I had a particularly awful day yesterday, which led to one of the worst panic attacks that I’ve had in a while. I went to … Continue reading

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