Tag Archives: triggers

I’m being so blatantly taken advantage of

I had another very terrible day yesterday, which culminated in another meltdown and getting severely drunk.  I’ve not been able to be honest about what’s upsetting me here out of respect for K and her lifestyle choices, but I can … Continue reading

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I had another meltdown yesterday

I had another meltdown yesterday, after the pressure became too much for me to take and I was upset that K’s son had taken my bike, even though I’d mistakenly agreed to it (I suffer from delayed reaction thinking and … Continue reading

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Feeling very hopeless and scared

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, suicidal ideation  I knew that returning to England would be a huge mistake.  I’ve only been here just over a week and already I’m feeling very hopeless and scared.  It’s just too populated here and not only … Continue reading

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I miss my friend; I miss the Netherlands

I spent a month staying with my only remaining friend, S in the Netherlands for a month in June.  Honestly, it was the best month that I’ve had for as long as I can remember.  I usually have difficulty living … Continue reading

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Four (completely infeasible) alternatives to suicide

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, dark thoughts It’s 2 am and I can’t sleep (surprise).  I feel tired, but I have a lot of restless energy and a mind racing with intrusive thoughts.  I’m angry at the world and angrier still with … Continue reading

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I really fucking hate weekends and ‘weekend people’

Another ‘I hate weekends’ blog entry, but it’s true…I really fucking hate weekends and ‘weekend people ‘with a passion.  From Friday evening to Sunday night, it’s much harder for me to go out because the enemy (people) are everywhere.  Saturdays … Continue reading

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She triggered me again

K, my ex-girlfriend who I was planning to stay with for a while has triggered me again.  I understand that she’s autistic and has no filter, which causes her to be brutally honest.  But my brain doesn’t know how to … Continue reading

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