Tag Archives: triggers

Fear and envy have made me hateful

I don’t find the subject of envy particularly easy to talk about, but I have no one to discuss it with and I feel no one truly understands why I feel the way that I do. It’s reached the stage … Continue reading

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The toxicity of my envy (and dysphoria too)

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide, self-harm I have a huge problem with envy of others and I can’t control it. If it’s bad, it causes me to spiral into a depressive, self-destructive episode that can last for days. I have so many … Continue reading

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My anxiety is out of control

I’m tired of making plans and appointments, only to have to cancel every time because my anxiety gets the better of me and I find myself unable to go alone.  I was meant to go to the anxiety group in … Continue reading

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I really do want to die

TRIGGER WARNING: suicide, suicidal ideation I’ve had a really bad few days, all things considered. My brain feels so scattered that I don’t know where to begin, but I honestly want to die. I’m tormented by the past and present … Continue reading

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Yesterday’s debilitating, embarassing panic attack

I don’t want to sound like a stuck record, but I’m really really really struggling.  I had a particularly awful day yesterday, which led to one of the worst panic attacks that I’ve had in a while. I went to … Continue reading

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Something to look forward to

I’m doing my best to try to repair the damage I did when I pushed my best friend away a few months ago, but thankfully we are on good terms again and she is back in my life.  I deeply … Continue reading

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Wishing I could completely hide my pain and resentment from my mother

I don’t want to upset my mum, which is why I had to “let it go” again yesterday, although I blame myself for being unable to keep this pain inside me, so as not to make her feel guilty. We … Continue reading

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