Tag Archives: ugliness

She triggered me again

K, my ex-girlfriend who I was planning to stay with for a while has triggered me again.  I understand that she’s autistic and has no filter, which causes her to be brutally honest.  But my brain doesn’t know how to … Continue reading

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When fiction and fictional characters become emotional triggers

When I was young, television shows, moves and books were distractions from how shitty my life was (and still is).  I could watch pretty much anything and enjoy it and I read a lot of books.  But that isn’t the … Continue reading

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The ‘rational’ argument in favour of suicide and assisted dying

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide (obviously) I’m no fan of modern suicide prevention techniques for chronically suicidal people like me, nor am I a fan of ‘the ‘saviour’ SPA (suicide prevention activist) types.  The latter seem only concerned with preventing suicide itself, … Continue reading

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I’ve been feeling very suicidal (and no, I don’t want to be saved or pitied)

TRIGGER WARNING: Suicide Here I am, screaming into the void again, just like in the movie Alien.  The monsters aren’t enormous killer creatures with acid for blood, but the monsters in my head….. Before I go any further, I don’t want to … Continue reading

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Uglyface

I took the small lock box to my mum’s on Sunday evening.  Inside is a card and a USB flash drive containing my ‘final note’ and instructions for after my death.  Obviously, I didn’t tell her what was inside it … Continue reading

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I don’t want to be here

TRIGGER WARNING: suicide I’m not looking for attention or pity and I’m especially not looking for unsolicited advice from random people trying to convince me to keep on going.  I’ve done a lot of reflecting and I cannot come up … Continue reading

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Dear random people on the internet: please stop telling me that “life is worth living”

I wish people who don’t know me or what I’ve gone through for most of my life would stop doubting my desire to die, as if it were some sort of whim or temporary problem, rather than a lifetime of … Continue reading

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